Who needs the UN?

It seems like I cannot go a day without surfing the w-w-w (as my mom likes to say) without running into a story depicting some tragedy in Africa. Be they deplorable health issues or corrupt governments abusing their position in elections, the problems really run the gamut. South Africa, supposedly the height of efficient government in the continent, employs a health minister that believes garlic and potatoes are honest remedies in fighting their AIDS epidemic. For serious. Just google South African health minister AIDS problems and you’ll be presented with a litany of websites and articles that show you just how bad it is. The continent is rife with civil strife regarding elections in Kenya, Sudan, Somalia etc. The list is really long. Now, a lot of these problems are directly attributed to how new they are as free countries. Take a look at the problems facing America 75 years into its existence. But, they are still major problems and cannot be discounted. Back to the reason for this post.

A few years ago I sat for the State Department exam. I wanted to be a diplomat that traveled to foreign lands and worked in politics. I knew during the exam that this wasn’t going to happen for me. Why? I passed on an essay question that asked me about my feelings towards the United Nations and instead tackled a question regarding corporate responsibility. I knew then that it probably wasn’t going to work out for me because I didn’t have anything nice to say about the UN. The UN’s claim is that its inclusiveness lends legitimacy to what they support while possibly causing some delay in action. Ha! The UN is bloated, inefficient and corrupt. Just because they are inclusive does not make them right. Since when did popularity become a moral high ground?

The continent that sends the most delegates to the UN is Africa. These are people who have grown up in countries in which the governments rarely work well and that the major goal of elected people is to remain in power. It shouldn’t come as a shock to us when the UN drags their collective feet coming to the aid of countries in need or levying punishment on nations that break the rules. Its hard to blame the delegates because corruption and ineffective governments are all they know. Expecting them to move swiftly and fairly would be like hoping a tiger goes vegan. Its just not in the cards, baby.

The Real Reason the Good Guys Won WWII

Stephen Colbert often brings out his list of threats. Threats to America and threats to himself. Bears are always on the list. I think he should reconsider and so does Poland.

Bears.

Poland is great nation in which, until very recenlty, twin brothers occupied the top two positions in the government. Also, one of their neighborhood friends ascended the political ladder to assumer a lofty position. I'm guessing they didn't play a lot of kickball on that street.

Two Thumbs Up and FOUR THUMBS DOWN

Last night I was watching basketball (I do this frequently) and was pleasantly surprised at what I found. And, it had absolutely nothing to do with the referees, the announcing, the coaching or the players. I was impressed by the fans. We exist in an era of constant court storming. I was once at a game where a 17th ranked Georgetown team beat a 12th ranked Syracuse team and watched in horror as the student “fans” flocked to the court like the salmon of capastrano. G-Ross. The Hoyas are a storied team and anything less than three point launch off of Mike Sweetney’s left knee for the win should have kept the moronic fans in their seats. You can celebrate in your seats. Well, last night in a game in which a team mired in mediocrity (this season) defeated one that is wildly successful (this season) I half expected those rambunctious students to storm the court. It didn’t seem to matter in my mind that the mediocre team (Kentucky) is one of the most storied programs in all of college basketball. But, as the final horn sounded and the jubilant players jumped around with each other I witnessed something that made me smile. The fans cheered. They stood and clapped because they were happy their team won and they didn’t act like they haven’t seen them win before. I’m all for celebrating fantastic events, but I prefer to see people “act like they’ve been there before” as my grandfather and prematurely-mature roommate likes to say. Especially, when these fantastic and unexpected events are regular season wins by teams from power conferences. As I applaud the fans from the bluegrass state I will also heartily boo those enormous babies from UNC. Their reaction to a single loss was pathetic.

Best Pub-licity Ever

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/7194654.stm

Read the story. Look at the photo of the guy. Who wouldn't become a regular at this pub? Besides nihilists, of course. They're far too exhausted.

Forget Bruce Dickinson, This is Better Than Gold Plated Diapers

As I watched Michigan send a message to the Republican party on Tuesday evening, I got around to thinking about America’s natural resources. By the way, that message was that all you have to do to be elected is tell the public what they want to hear. Seriously, Michiganers, I have some lovely beach front property in Arizona that I’ll sell you for a song. If you don’t follow, let me explain. The number one factor in the minds of voters in Michigan is “the economy, stupid”. The battle was essentially between native son, Romney, and McCain. Romney pledged that he’d do everything in his power to get back those jobs that Michigan lost in recent years. At this point I think Romney would commit to drinking the blood of the innocent if it polled well. Seriously. McCain took the approach that those jobs are gone forever and that he would help the good people of Michigan move forward by re-educating them through various community college or outreach programs. Obviously, Romney won with ease. His pledge comforts the citizens, but it isn’t realistic. Those jobs are gone – forever. You don’t see the steel mills in Pittsburgh operating at full capacity like they were in the mid 1930s. You don’t see manufacturing plants in the rust belt going full bore anymore. The economic ability of maintaining a major product from start to finish for eternity in one country just doesn’t happen anymore. Companies have to adapt or get left behind and when those companies fall behind, so do their communities.

To get back to my initial idea, I have say that, while this country is rich in land and mineral deposits, America’s greatest natural resource is its people and their continuing ability to deliver new ideas to the market place. Without our ingenuity we certainly wouldn’t exist as a country. The Revolutionary War was also a revolution in terms of how war can be waged. Gone were the days of lines of soldiers firing at each other. A new type of strategery was introduced. The War of 1812 also saw American know-how deliver crushing blows to the Brits to help win the war. With our advanced cannon production leading the way, the battle of New Orleans was a decisive victory for a young country. It also led to the first instance of nationalism. A country of loosely affiliated states transformed almost over night into unified nation. WWII saw America leap frog a stronger Japanese Navy with the advent of air power. We were able to sink many of their ships and deliver considerable damage to the until-then impregnable Tokyo. These are just three military examples of how innovation helped shape our country. The economic examples are even more plentiful and I won’t list them for fear of carpal tunnel syndrome.

The idea that the federal government can help bring back the auto industry is laughable. I know its easy for me to say this as I haven’t been adversely affected by the fall of the American car, but the sooner they commit to moving in a new direction the better off they’ll be. At this point I’d like to quote one of my favorite philosophers, Bruce Lee. He said, in describing Jeet Kune Do, “Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. If you put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put water into a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow and it can crash. Be water my friend.” He used this to dispel the notion that one form of kung fu or karate was the best. He encouraged people to take bits and pieces from all forms and use them interchangeably. Success would come through this flexible/unpredictable nature. I think the quote works here because of the fluid nature of the market. Needs don’t often change, but wants certainly do and the wants crave the new and exciting and cheap. I feel confidant that the country will continue to fill those wants most ably.

I just have to say one more thing. I love this format. I think that I’ll have made disparaging remarks about every candidate by the middle of February. At which point I’ll be looking for a Lincolnesque run from a candidate waiting in the wings, someone who has been touring the country giving speeches. Oh my gosh, do I detect the dulcet tones of Newt Gingrich? Good God, NO!

Sham Alert: NCAA

I read an article (http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/columns/story?columnist=forde_pat&id=3196762&sportCat=ncb) today that got my blood boiling a little bit. It wasn’t even a major part of the article. It was actually a miniscule factoid that is part of an enormous problem. The NCAA is a sham. They are hypocrites of the highest order. There are 59 new coaches in college basketball. 59! That is nearly 1/6th of all schools in D-I basketball. That's absurd. Most state run universities with big time college football teams pay their coaches significantly more than any other state employee. Bobby Ross, the former coach of the Army football team, was once the highest paid federal employee. These same football and basketball programs are now competing for coaches with the pro ranks. Nick Saban of Alabama and Bobby Petrino of Arkansas both left lucrative multi-year contracts in the pros to come back to college. They were able to come back to college because they weren’t taking a significant pay cut. Since when can an amateur league compete financially with the biggest, baddest sport in America? I’ll tell you. It happened when the NCAA went all Bill Clinton on us with, “it depends on what your definition of amateur is.” Amateur in the sense that the actual participants aren't receiving any income while the institution is raking it in on the player's blood, sweat and tears.

A little over a year ago, the House Ways and Means Committee delivered a letter to Myles Brand, president of the NCAA, asking him about the professed intrinsic academic value of college football and basketball in an effort to understand why they are able to maintain a tax-exempt status. This is big money. CBS pays the NCAA approximately $545 million a year just to show March Madness. BCS Bowl games pay teams upwards of $17 million for their final game. Brand argued that these are student athletes first and that they are very much a fabric of the collegiate life, like the theatre or the choir. Give me a break. I will believe Brand whole heartedly when Fox creates a reality show based around competing college improve groups, shells out millions per year, and the kids are as well known as Kevin Durant or Greg Oden. How can these kids be called amateurs when their lives are so scrutinized by the press and public alike? You can rest safe knowing that if your starting quarterback gets arrested for underage drinking or marijuana possession the whole country will know about it. The only way the water polo captain is making national news is if he does something heroic or truly demonic.

My problem with the system is that the players, and these are reason why the CBS’s and Fedex’s of the world are shelling out big time dollars (You’d have to be a sadist to pay money to watch Jim Boeheim or Bobby Bowden coach), have almost no rights. This is very much a feudal system. Players choose to attend certain colleges because of the coach, the league, the facilities, television exposure, etc. Somewhere way down the list is whether or not the school’s finance department has Hank Paulson on staff. Essentially, these kids are choosing schools for reasons connected to their sport, the top of which is usually the coach. These coaches and institutions, who have gained the trust of these young men, are more often than not more concerned with their own bottom line than the kids that sweat for them. A coach wins 25 games at a mid-major and maybe squeaks into the second round of the tournament. Sorry VCU, its time to go. Bigger dollars and more acclaim await at another school. Whats that? I still have 7 years on a contract extension you gave me last year. Sorry, not going to honor it. If coaches can simply up and leave at the drop of a hat, surely the players should be able to follow if they don’t like the new coach. Wrong. The draconian laws in place at the NCAA require a player to sit out a full year before they can participate again. Coaches and schools sign seven figure endorsement deals for dressing the PLAYERS in certain apparel. Players can’t receive endorsements from other sports they compete in professionally (See: Jeremy Bloom). Why are the coaches and schools allowed to operate like this a big business whilst the players get nothing but an education (stifling laughter)? Because. This. Is. Big. Business. And, the NCAA should stop mocking our intelligence and treat it as such by giving greater freedom to the players, I mean student-athletes.

The Paradox of Democracy

I'm struggling with post lengths. If this is too long let me know and I'll shorthen them in the future.

As a lover of freedom and America (in that order), a few things concern me about the impending election. We have to remember that voting is not a right, it is a privilege that can be taken away (see: felony offenders in 46 states and the Potomac Drainage Basin), and should be taken seriously. This is not a contest in which the winner gets his or her own recording contract. This time, the winner gets access to that cool red phone we see in the movies.

I love the idea that the more people that vote the better represented we will be. I like the idea. What I don’t like is the outcome. Most people will decide on the candidate they want to back for shallow reasons. He looks the part. She speaks so well. He is such a good family man. Sure, these things are important. But, they are also so easy to fake. Candidates can BS their way through faux interviews with fawning media members and appear any which way.

Obama is taking advantage of this in a huge way. He’s tall and handsome. His story is fantastic and he delivers his message so convincingly. He is getting people to the polls. The sheer number of voters in Iowa was incredibly impressive and he should be commended for inspiring them to participate. My only hope is that people will do a little research before coming to any conclusion about the viability of a candidate.

The problem, as I see it, is that he’s selling us all a bill of goods. The notion of “change” is so alluring to those who have no concept of the politics, policy or procedure in Washington. I’d just like to know what “change” he stands for. He votes with his party 97% of the time (If people really want someone who represents change, they should look at McCain who, along with Feingold, authored a bi-partisan campaign finance reform bill and regularly votes against his party. I’m not telling you to vote for him, I’m just saying that he represents a break with the establishment far more than Obama.). I suppose the “change” could mean change in jobs. He seems to always be looking at the next job. I guess being a Senator is something that can be done remotely. Shoot, I forgot about those pesky votes. I can’t really blame him for this because it is symptomatic of the current election cycle. It starts much too early.

I’m not going to call Obama a fraud because there is really only room for one on that train and it is currently being filled by Mitt Romney (his campaign strategists should be banished to political outposts in South Dakota for the remainder of their careers). What I am going to say is that Obama is running a campaign of sweeping generalizations. War – bad, universal health care – good, aid for middle class – good. That sounds reasonable, doesn’t it? It sure does. However, these are complicated issues that require more than just a rah-rah approach. It will be interesting to see if his strategy works because it would be really easy win elections if you never have to commit to anything or devise a plan to accomplish this nebulous notion of change. His campaign slogan should read “Elect me now and then I’ll come up with a plan later.”

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for change. I think the idea of change gives people hope. I just think it is incredibly naïve to think that the opposite of Verbal Kint (he’s the man with the plan) will bring it about.

Asylum?

I titled this post asylum instead of amnesty because of one of my favorite bars in Washington, DC: Asylum. Only at a sweet biker bar can you get 25 cent pints of Shiner Bock on Saturday afternoons. Simply stunning.

This story is a little old, but a resolution to the situation is going to come to a head next week. Weeks ago a player, Al Bangura, on Watford in the English Premier League (EPL) was told that his work permit was going to be revoked and he would subsequently be deported from England.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/africa/4880822.stm

There are all kinds of reasons for him to stay and really, this is exactly what amnesty is all about. This poor kid was brought to England at the age of 15. It wasn't through any doing of his own that he ended up in England It was the work of a creepy, anonymous Frenchman better suited for an episode of Dateline: How to Catch a Predator than as the guardian of a teenager. If anything, England owes this kid an apology for allowing the kind of atmosphere in which teenage boys are manipulated into a sex trade by its own citizens. Not only that, they would be sending him away to a country rent apart by civil strife, not to mention a tribe that commonly practices some forms of cannibalism. Yikes.

The problem does not lie with Al Bangura. The problem lies with the state of English football, or should I say the sorry state of English football. Fresh off the heels of failing to QUALIFY for Euro 2008 there have been calls from fans and officials alike to Anglocize the EPL. The successes of teams like Arsenal and Chelsea, both of which are filled to guts with foreign born players, have people nervous that the lack of opportunity for native sons essentially hurts the pride of Egland, its national team. It is this fear that has people, Sir Alex Ferguson of Manchester United among them, clamoring for a limit on foreign born players allowed to compete on each team. What a joke. Competition is so important in elevating the level of just about any product. The failure here lies in the development of its players at all levels.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/football/7137071.stm

Back to my point, there is no reason this kid should be punished for a small amount of xenophobia that is currently prevalant among some of the citizens. Eliminating the foreign player from the game isn't going to solve the problems of English football.